牡丹江 by 南拳妈妈

Its another Friday night without a confirmed meetup with frens again. I need to have something to mark the end of the working week, if not i'll be feeling like i've worked continuously. Put in other terms, I need to chill/destress at the end of every week if not the next week will be unbearable. (Its already been 2 unbearable weeks.)

I seriously think I dun have a lot of frens. Or rather, I dun have a lot of frens who are willing to go out with me. Although I only have a few free days without school per week, they're mostly left free and me left rotting at home/staying back in office.

I tried getting ppl out for a ktv tonight. All only free after dinner time. Means I no dinner lah. I think I'll go home.

The Big Dipper clan. Forget it. I think its kinda separated, guys and girls, only after a 表白 incident. No, target wasnt me. The girls wise, seems like everybody is busy with their stuff. The Bird with her server breakdown problems, NDP projects, etc etc, forcing her to stay back in office till unearthly hrs. RR doing shift + her church activities, or she'll say she's broke. Meow meow wld be busy with her FYP or most often then not, she's broke. Thus, its hard to get the 4 of us together. And they have the impression dat I'm damn free and rich. My explanation: Free bcos no one book me; Rich bcos I lead a monotonous life, money only goes to drum lessons, comics, figurines, cds, cpf, insurance, and taxis. Not very good, I always get utilised as a mobile atm, even thou i have to go below my critical amt, and I always have to chase my $$ back myself.

The rest seems to be always waiting for me to initiate. I only meet the bballers once a yr, maybe none if i dun do the planning. San they all ALWAYS waits for me to get them out, plan everything swee swee, even so, they'll have their own activities. Who else? Oh! My poly folks. Abt twice, less than 4 times per yr. ALWAYS go out eat, nothing much. Anymore? Nah, cant think of anyone else close and go out often.

Is it bcos I'm too un/improminent?

I dun have any frens in work. SERIOUS! Not even one of those types that will go out somewhere after work. Not one who I can play with. Only have the old ti-ko ah peks, married middle ages and super quiet guys. Pampered, ya being the youngest sometimes gets u pampered but its very very BORING... Age gap differences, very hard to communicate. I really jus go to work.. To Work.

School, no frens at all! Its lectures, lectures, and more lectures. Not much interactions. I think I spoke less sentences than the amt of digits my limbs can count from the start of the semester.

And I dun go ard meeting strangers, I dun like it AT ALL.

I just want a sense of belonging...... social security or watever they call it in my Psycho classes.

Or maybe I shld jus plan for classes to fall on Friday nights. Which I'm most UNWILLING to do.

I still dunno how I shld be celebrating my Bday in 2 mths time. Stay at home?

So darn moody and empty right now.